I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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