Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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