His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
