hotel room ftw
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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