so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
