I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
