i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
