I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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