Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
