You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Still dying that you shit outside
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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