Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
