Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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