my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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