I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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