I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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