i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
