it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
