Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
