I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
