No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Btw I puked in your glovebox
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
