They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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