Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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