found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
