TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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