I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
