i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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