Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
