I could have mohawked her pubes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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