Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
