i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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