Buhtt sex?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
