Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
