i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just want to make out with him forever
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
