Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
