i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
