so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
