I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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