As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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