dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
sex in a hospital.. check
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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