Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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