whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
