so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
A+ Viking dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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