Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
