I accidentally had phone sex last night
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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