Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
