ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
