I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
