worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
