He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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