I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
