if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
