so explain again why im purple
no
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
